Secret Pleasures Holiday Gift Guide 2014!

5 Nov

christmas pet rock On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me… a pet rock? We are excited for you, if you really wanted that darling little pet rock. After all, it doubles as a paperweight and a doorstop. If you have been on the receiving end of gifts like this in the past that you really have no use for, do not fret! We have the latest and greatest coming from the North Pole straight to your front door – Santa prefers FedEx during this busy holiday season. Enjoy! 

In the Lap of Luxury 

form2LE soraya mona2 Pure Wand

Listed from left to right: Jimmy Jane Form 2 LE, Lelo Soraya, Lelo Mona 2,  Njoy Pure Wand

Dear Santa,

Last year after drinking all of the eggnog, you knocked over the chimney and stole the holiday ham while Dasher and Prancer ran interference. This year, please leave secret, pleasurable gifts under the Christmas tree and Rudolph will be returned unharmed! 1 day of coal, 364 days of fun, we will take our chances!

All I Want For Christmas Is You

wevibe4plus blueMotion

Listed from left to right: We Vibe 4 Plus, OhMiBod Blue Motion Nex 1

Who understands preparation and long-distance better than Santa?! For anyone that wants to play across the miles, the newly released bluetooth/smartphone compatible We Vibe 4 Plus or Blue Motion Nex1 are true gems to help link you to your naughty little elf. 

 

Holly Jolly Under $50

Fruitcake

pantyvibeboyleg ako tenga3 iconicbulletJJ acute

Listed from left to right: Panty Vibe BoylegPicoBong AkoTenga Egg 6-pack, Jimmy Jane Iconic BulletTantus Acute Dildo

Mom is coming to visit and bringing the 3 pound fruitcake. You’re dreading the sports replays on tv and ruckus created by Uncle Herman. Trying to rig up those Christmas lights that never manage to stay lit has you at wits end. Restore sanity and fulfill last-minute shopping needs with this naughty but oh-so-nice list. It’s sure to have everyone abuzz with holiday cheer!  

 

The Stockings Were Hung   

 

tantussupersoftcring primoapex KSweekender chocolate nnw

Listed from left to right: Tantus Supersoft C Ring, ScreamingO PrimO Apex, Kama Sutra Weekender Kit, Seagrape Soy Massage Candle, Nipple Nibblers

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house C-rings were vibrating as quiet as a mouse. Your loved one was moaning loudly in bed while visions of ecstasy danced through their head.

 

Brain Chemistry

Books and Smiley

o-50-SHADES-OF-CHICKEN submissionbook  gsmsbook intercoursessockmonkey agelesserotica takemethere

Listed from left to right: 50 Shades of Chicken, Big Book of Submission, Great Sex Made Simple, InterCourses, Sock Monkey Kama Sutra, Ageless Erotica, Take Me There

The sexiest organ in your body is your brain – Turn it on and turn up the heat with sultry stories of submission, ageless erotica, and more! When paired with 50 Shades of Chicken or Intercourses, you are bound for delicious success! Alternatively, you can eat until you are full and pass out with your book in your hand. It’s your holiday, we won’t judge! 

with_reindeer_antlers_red_nose_puppy_168901

Splish, Splash, & Relax  

msdtone sweet-musk seaaaa  satinsliquid naughtybubbles lure-her-feromonas

Listed from left to right: Afterglow Candle + Contour M Stone, Seagrape Massage Oil, Sliquid Sea LubricantSliquid Satin LubricantNaughty BubblesLure For Her/Him

Worried about feeding your 20 relatives? Is your tinsel in a tangle? We called Mrs. Claus for some advice: Light a Bourbon scented candle and dip into a warm bath. Drip the warm oil over your/partners body and massage away the stress of the day. Last but not least, don’t forget the eggnog when Aunt Edna shows up with the annual ugly sweater that is 2 sizes too small and calls you by the wrong name.

A-Florida-Christmas


My Grown Up Christmas List

 

joque bandit tango dildo tantus

Listed from left to right:  Joque Harness, VixSkin Bandit DildoTango Double Dildo, Tantus Twist Plug 

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, a dildo (maybe two), world peace, a Joque Harness, 5 gold rings, pink bunny pajamas, an anal plug, and a partridge in a pear tree.

bunny2

 

Santa’s Naughty List  

UnderTheBedRestraint_XL kinkkit plunge3 ggnaughty-17 CO01_PrettyPlain_o PFBE_belting_o

Listed from left to right: Under The Bed Restraint System by SportSheets, Spartacus Kink KitTantus Plunge Paddle, Kinklab Neon Wand, LeatherBeaten Pretty Plain Collar, LeatherBeaten Premium Belting Flogger

Kinking around the christmas tree this holiday season?Whether you are role-playing as Santa’s slave in a gorgeous collar by LeatherBeaten, reigning in Rudolph, or experiencing Neon Wand Electrostim with the elves, these delightful finds will have you screaming for more.

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