This toy aspires to act as a gender-neutral “rabbit vibe, a clitoral massager, a cock-ring, a G-spot stimulator, a prostate massager, a vibrating double-ended dildo” and more than meets the eye. It is supposed to be perfect for her/him/her & her/every other possible combination imaginable. But does it prepare dinner, wash the car, and walk the dog? Let’s find out!
Upon first glance of the toy I immediately thought “tentacle”. To much delight, on their [revamped] website, Pico Bong advertises it as being held by a tentacle. That has little to nothing to do with the toy itself, it just makes me smirk a bit. One might also look at this toy and think “jump rope”. Either way, I had to do everything else with it before actually using it for the aforementioned intended purposes.
The Transformer measures 24” in total length. Inevitably, with the toy unfurled, I proceeded to tap my coworker on the shoulder with it (all from the comfort of my desk chair 3 feet away, mind you). After a yelp from the tapped recipient, I quickly wrapped the toy around my arm like a pink, vibrating cobra. Should my career as a Sex Educator belly-up, have faith that I can act as a snake charmer. (In real life, snakes are incredibly frightening, thus my career as a Sex Educator will hopefully remain intact after this review).
2 vibrating bullets on each end measuring 4.5” are tethered together by a silicone-coated, flexi-skeleton, thus enabling the Transformer to wrap, coil, curl, and move to the desires of the user. The bullets are insertable, however there is a seam at the top of the bullets which will require extra care and cleaning. The silicone itself is phthalate-free, non-porous, hypoallergenic, and smooth. While the toy is waterproof, note another seam around the USB charging port of the bullets which may require extra cleaning attention. This is also the location of the controls for the toy, which offer 10 vibration patterns and varying intensities. You can control these with +, -, and M (mode) buttons, just as other Pico Bong products.
For those that enjoy milder, buzzy vibration, this toy could work well for you. With the toy ramped up, vibrations become quite buzzy yet do not deliver as much power as one had hoped. It is still on the quiet side, which is a bonus if you have kids/thin walls/nosey roommates or if mechanical sound is a deterrent to your pleasure. If you have concerns about the toy going too deep upon insertion, you can twist it around a few times to shorten the length and act as a buffer.
For users with limited mobility/limited range of motion, carpal tunnel syndrome, or differently abled bodies, this toy will provide 2 feet of extended reach. This eases pain and discomfort in the arms/shoulders or other areas of the body which may be affected.
If contorted into a cock ring, little restriction is offered. It seems like a lasso if used in front of the testicles. If you’re seeking various types of vibration on or near the penis, you can wrap one bullet around the base of the penis and utilize this to vibrate in front or behind the testicles. The other bullet can then be moved in to position over the perineum or against the anus. This offers a lot of stimulation to the area if used solo. It is a fun toy to share if both parties want to experience simultaneous vibration, but as a cock ring, it seems rather silly.
One major design flaw lies within the controls of the toy. I mentioned that they are located on one of the bullets. If the bullets are insertable and one wants to change speed/vibration… you get the idea. I have not attempted to change the speed/vibration of the toy with my kegel muscles, in case that was an idea that crossed some of your minds. Anyone who succeeds in this endeavor can have a cookie* (*subject to available cookies).
Another flaw is that there is not much give to the toy. It does stay in the position in which it is placed, but changing the shape or position of the toy offers much difficulty. With the toy inserted into the vagina, it tends to slip out if you are changing the shape of the toy. You have to hold the toy in with one hand and attempt to change the shape with the other. Alternatively, you have to remove the toy, change the shape or position, and re-insert – Buzzkill central. When all else fails: double penetration. Remember: set the speed/mode before insertion. Where are those buttons located again? Exactly.
In sum, the Transformer does offer some fun in terms of a couples toy or dual-stimulation. It does increase range and assist those with physical limitations. It might even act as a back massager. However, it does not achieve the ambitious goals that its creators had in mind – it does not prepare dinner, wash the car, or walk the dog. (No Corgi’s were harmed during the photography process, which subsequently took 20 minutes).
This toy will be available through Secret Pleasures online only. Please find the link here.
Secret Pleasures Boutique 
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