Ask An Educator: Owning a Whip

17 Aug

Dr. Ruth Neustifter tackles the question of why someone might own a whip!


So why does a woman have a sex whip? A girl that I was dating said that she had one but had yet to use it.

Why Why wouldn’t a woman (or anyone) have a sex whip? Seriously, though, you’re asking a great question. As the second floor of Secret Pleasures shows, people can enjoy a wide variety of props, tools, and gear that may not seem directly related to genital stimulation in the same way as vibrators and such.

The only way to really know why she bought a sexy whip would be to ask her, but perhaps I can offer a few possibilities why other people come to the store to buy them:

  • They like buying and owning sexy accessories; having it around feels good whether it gets used or not.
  • They might like the idea of sensation play with a whip, either giving or receiving. For many people the right kind of sensations at the right intensity, with the right person, and in the right context can feel very arousing and/or satisfying.
  • They might have discovered that they can masturbate with it. There are plenty of people who like a slapping sensation on the vulva or other parts of the body, and also plenty of people that don’t. This isn’t something to spring on somebody else – talk about it first.
  • They have a fantasy about whips, maybe even a roleplay fantasy. Maybe they’ll try that fantasy or maybe not, but having the whip feels good.
  • They read a book or had a friend/partner who talked about something similar, and they were curious.
  • Playing with power, bondage, or controlled sexy pain is arousing to them.
  • They thought it would look cute with a sexy outfit, even if it doesn’t get used.
  • They want to be the kind of person that owns a whip like that.

whips floggers Sex can be a playful, creative thing for many people as well as an expression and affirmation of ourselves and our relationships. For many folks gear like this can play a role in playfulness, identity, exploration, relationship building, and more. Who knows, maybe you’ll decide you’re curious about sex whips someday or maybe you’ll meet someone who you’ll enjoying talking with about their collection of whips!

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