Tag Archives: consent

Ask An Educator: Nervous Top

24 Aug

Dr. Ruth Neustifter gives advice for a nervous top.


I have almost no experience with being a top during sex.  I have tried it, and it never works out, making me feel insecure, inexperienced, embarrassed and terrified to try it again.  Any advice, tips, tricks, must-dos, etc., that could be offered would be so very much appreciated.  Thank you.

on topThis is such an important topic and I’m very glad you asked. First, being a top could mean a lot of things and I hope that I’m guessing right. I’m guessing that you might want to penetrate your partner and also be the more assertive/dominant partner. I’ll do my best to answer for all genders; I hope that you find this helpful. Please let us know if my guesses aren’t helpful here and I’ll try again! Continue reading

Ask An Educator: Being On Top

11 Aug

Dr. Ruth Neustifter is back with another guest addition of “Ask An Educator!”


I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for about three months now and I’ve never been on top. He’s always asking me to try but I afraid I won’t be any good at it.  How do I make sure he is satisfied ? And get over my fear of being a topper for the first time?

 You’ve asked a really important question with lots of valuable points; thank you for sending it in. First off, I want to make sure that you’re interested in being on top. Some people want to try it and others can’t or don’t. Make sure it’s a type of creativity that you’re interested in, and not just something that he wants. If you are interested in exploring, but also nervous then that’s ok. However, I’m a bit concerned that your question only asks about you being skilled (not about him being skilled about being on the bottom), about his satisfaction (not yours), and about your fear. None of that sounds like you’re very happy about this idea, or that you’re pursuing your own pleasure and fantasies here.   Continue reading

What the Kink?! – A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM

2 Jan

tantus silicone thwack“I want to spank my partner.” “My partner wants me to tie them up.” “I want to talk dirty.” “She wants me to give her better oral and I want to be of service – how?!” The good news is that your friendly neighborhood adult boutique transforms into an adult education space a few times a month to bring you the latest & greatest tips, tricks, and classes to help address all of your erotic or sexual pleasures. With an expanded BDSM section on our 2nd floor, the necessary equipment is available to add some zest to your love life. This is not the time to simply make resolutions, this is the time to plan and act. There is no excuse to keep kink and other wants out in 2014 – It is a new year, fill it with new fun! Don’t make me get the paddle.

Continue reading

Consent – A Journey When Given, A Trainwreck When Not

14 Oct

reality check aheadHello to you, good people of the internet. Come with me, if you will, down the golden path of consent. Imagine that you wake up to a message from someone inviting you out for coffee. You accept this offer and think that you are going out on a friendly date with an unmarried person later in the day. You meet, greet, and the friendly coffee date is going great. They don’t have 2 heads or bad teeth, there is a lot of flirting occurring and plenty of witty banter back and forth. Suddenly your date turns to you and says “OK, before this goes on I have to tell you that I am married and my partner wants me to bring home another person.” O_o

Continue reading

To Sext Or Not To Sext?

27 Sep

sextingProtecting yourself goes beyond a hot night between the sheets. It’s about safety as well as security outside of the bedroom – this extends to your media messages and email. Once you send a text or photo to someone else, you have to trust them as well as their security habits. We do not recommend sending racy photos or texts over the internet. However, we know that many of you are going to do it anyway! So, without further adieu, here are some simple ways to engage in Safe Sexting.

Continue reading

Malin James

Erotica. Sex. Culture.

The Romance Evangelist

I live for the HFN/HEA and am decidedly pro-epilogue

Courtesan Press

Elegant Erotica & Romance For the Modern Woman

.Charlie Glickman

Explore Your Sexuality - A healthy part of life.

Ashley's Blog

Explore Your Sexuality - A healthy part of life.

The Redhead Bedhead

Sex, Mental Health, & How None Of Us Are Broken

Hey Epiphora

Where sex toys go to be judged

Frisky Feminist Press

Explore Your Sexuality - A healthy part of life.