Tag Archives: on top

Ask An Educator: Being On Top

11 Aug

Dr. Ruth Neustifter is back with another guest addition of “Ask An Educator!”


I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for about three months now and I’ve never been on top. He’s always asking me to try but I afraid I won’t be any good at it.  How do I make sure he is satisfied ? And get over my fear of being a topper for the first time?

 You’ve asked a really important question with lots of valuable points; thank you for sending it in. First off, I want to make sure that you’re interested in being on top. Some people want to try it and others can’t or don’t. Make sure it’s a type of creativity that you’re interested in, and not just something that he wants. If you are interested in exploring, but also nervous then that’s ok. However, I’m a bit concerned that your question only asks about you being skilled (not about him being skilled about being on the bottom), about his satisfaction (not yours), and about your fear. None of that sounds like you’re very happy about this idea, or that you’re pursuing your own pleasure and fantasies here.   Continue reading

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