Tag Archives: yes no maybe list

Ask An Educator: Spicing Up Your Sex Life

8 Jul

Here with another installment of “Ask An Educator” is our guest educator, Dr. Ruthie!


I am very shy when it comes to spicing up my sex life with my boyfriend. I recently got him to give anal sex a try for me. And we found that that works the best. Now I want to ask him if he could perform oral sex on me. I have given him oral on numerous occasions and he enjoys it. I have never had oral sex performed on me before. How do I go about asking him to try it on me?

spice From the sounds of it you’re already doing a lot of great exploring with your boyfriend! I’m so glad to hear that you’ve already been able to add something you both enjoy. If the two of us were chatting in the store I might ask you how you introduced the topic with him, and what you liked best (and least) about the conversation. I’m guessing that you had (or discovered) some new sexual communication skills then that could be helpful with introducing more new activities. But sometimes just bringing up the topic can feel more scary than the rest of the conversation that comes afterward. It can be really anxiety provoking to not know how our partners will react to the things we want to invite them to try with us. One of my favourite resources here at the store are these fabulous lists of possible sexual activities that individuals and partners can use to mark whether they like the idea, don’t like it, or are unsure. It’s a great way to get all kinds of good ideas, to think about what you might enjoy on your own, and to introduce conversations about it all. Continue reading

Ask An Educator: Trying Something New

23 Feb

My husband and I are like the ” blind leading the blind” when it comes to sex. I want to try so many different things. Many are outside of our small “sex option box.” I often read erotica novels and dream about being dominated, like many of the leading ladies,  but my husband is prideful with the subject and I am often left unsatisfied and disappointed. Now sex has become something that I shy away from because I already know the ending and that’s frustrating. What do you suggest ?

newGetting stuck in a sexual rut can be incredibly frustrating – especially if one partner wants to try something new and the other partner is reticent. So how do you move forward and create a fulfilling and exciting sex life while still honoring our partner’s feelings? Continue reading

Ask An Educator: Decrease in Desire

22 Jul

“Okay I think my libido is gone and am only 24. I am scared to lose my husband. Help!!”

decrease desireDoes this scenario sound familiar – You used to come home and jump your partner as soon as you got in the door and now you just want to curl up with a book and go to bed? The truth is, this is perfectly normal and happens to just about everyone. Desire can be a very cyclical thing and sometimes, it just wanes due to our body cycle, the weather, stress or just … because. There isn’t anything wrong, it’s just how your body has decided it’s going to respond right now and that’s ok! The good news is that dips in libido usually sort themselves out. Now, from the wording of your question, it sounds like this has been going on for a while and has you worried so let’s look at some of the things than can adversely affect a person’s libido.

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Communicate Your Way to Great Sex

16 Apr

tin cansCommunication is one of the keys to a great sex life but unfortunately we tend to do so little of it. I can’t tell you how often I have workshop attendees tell me that they only talk about sex right before or right after they have it!  And while Cosmo would have us believe that is enough,  I strongly encourage everyone to set aside some outside the bedroom time to talk to their partner(s) about what’s going on in their sex life. Why? Well, talking about our sex lives while we are actually having sex doesn’t give us the space to have an in depth conversation about what we want, what we need, what’s going right, what’s going wrong, etc. because, quite frankly, we are busy doing other things! Does that kind of conversation sound tedious to you? It needn’t be.

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