More Pleasure, More Power
New year, new erotic possibilities! Pursuing more pleasure in your sex life can help you expand your confidence, your creativity and your communication both in and out of the bedroom. When you start to explore what feels good, what feels not so good and what feels even better – you can often discover a new way to get turned on! Exploring new erotic possibilities gives you the chance to play, to be curious and to expand sex beyond the pursuit of orgasms. Whether you want to get kinky, or you want to build more confidence in the bedroom, or you simply want to be more present in your body during sex – here are some ways to empower your sex life and have more pleasure:
Explore New Sensations
Getting curious about textures, temperatures, pressures, scents and more, can bring more mindfulness and expansion to your sex life. We often get used to the same bedroom moves and by introducing new sensations we give ourselves a chance to expand beyond what already feels good. Many people get distracted during sex, their mind wanters or anxiety creeps in. Exploring new sex sensations can help guide our minds back to our bodies during sex. Here are two ideas:
- Blindfold yourself or your partner and experiment with sensual touch; use touch in different directions, vary pressure, try soft or firm touch. Explore under-service erogenous zones like ears, armpits, backs of knees, backs, scalp, etc. Tune into how it feels and what’s happening to the rest of your body. Bondage tape is great for blindfolds, gags and quick handcuffs – the best part is it doesn’t stick to hair!
- Try a sex toy designed for sensation enhancement like Tenga eggs (great for spicing up handjobs), feather ticklers and even massage oil instead of creams or lotions.
Try a New Sex Toy
The sex toy possibilities are bigger than dildos and vibrators. It can be easy to get into a rut with our sex toys and masturbation – having our go-to toy and the goal is orgasm. When we switch up our pleasure inputs, sometimes it is an adjustment period for our bodies and minds to learn a new path to pleasure. Try out a new toy and let go of expectation. You may not get the same level of pleasure right away, but you may discover a different arousal path, a new way to orgasm or a new way to have sex with your partner.
Here are some of my favorite sex toys to mix up your collection or get started with something new:
- Cock Rings (check out our How to Shop for a Cock Ring post here)
- Clitoral Stimulators – lots to choose from, this is a popular one.
- Magic Wand – this is a classic vibrator, and if you find it’s not great for masturbation – it is actually a fabulous body massager too!
- Couples Vibrator – the We-Vibe sync can be used during vaginal penetration to provide G-spot and Clitoral stimulation. It also can be controlled by an app!
- Sexy Dice – get playful and open-minded to spice up your sex routine. Leave your sex plans up to chance with these oral sex dice.
Use Quality Lube
Sometimes we take for granted how important texture can be. You may be already juicy or you may enjoy spit during sex, both of which are super sexy – but quality lube just makes everything hotter! Lube is great for anal or vaginal penetration, erotic massages, handjobs, sex toys and more. You can explore water-based, silicone and hybrid lubes, depending on the sexy thing you want to do and also compatibility with condoms and sex toys are factors to consider. I love this Lube Cube variety back that has 12 individual packets of lube so you can try out a small quantity before committing.
Set your erotic intentions for 2020! Commit to exploring ways to release any shame and self-jugement, and instead discover new ways to embrace pleasure as power.
Secret Pleasures Boutique 
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