Ask An Educator: 18 & Nervous About Going to a Sex Shop

11 Jun

I just turned 18, and have been masturbating since whenever (even though it is “against the law”). I am a guy, and am very interested in getting a stroker/masturbator. The only problem, I am very shy/nervous about being judged going into a sex store and coming out with a bag. Also, I don’t know what I should buy! Any tips?

proudSo, first off, congratulations on coming to us to ask this question. We know that it can be incredibly difficult, especially when you are just starting to explore new things sexually, to reach out and ask questions so we applaud you for doing so.

fleshlight masturbation sleeveMasturbation is a really unique and personal experience and many people (male bodied folks especially) start off fairly young. And there is nothing wrong with that. Yes, there are age of consent laws in every state but masturbation does not fall under that law. What you do to pleasure yourself in the privacy of your home (or bathroom, or…) is your business, and yours alone (as long as you aren’t involving other folks) so no worries. No one is going to show up and throw you in jail for masturbating. But now that you are 18, the wide world of sex toys has been thrown open to you – welcome!

We totally get why coming into a sex shop can be difficult. It’s a new experience and you aren’t sure what to expect. I love to tell nervous customers about my first time at Babeland in NYC. I was so nervous, I dropped a vibrator and had to chase it across the floor! Here at Secret Pleasures, and at many amazing sex shops around the country, we work hard to make our store a safe space. Every customer that comes through our door is treated with respect and caring. We want our store to be a place where our customers feel comfortable enough to ask questions, walk around and explore and leave feeling good about themselves, their purchases, and their sex lives (whatever form that may take). We won’t single you out or announce what you are purchasing and if you want us to just point you to the section you are looking for and leave you be, we will do that too! Also, all of our bags are black and discrete, without any logos or marks on them at all so you won’t be walking down the street declaring your love of Secret Pleasures (unless you want to – in which case, let us give you some business cards!) 

tenga eggAs for what we would recommend? A Tenga Egg is a great place to start. It’s small, non indicative and easy to take care of – perfect for folks who may live at home or in a dorm room. Tenga Eggs come in a ton of different textures too and since they are inexpensive, you can stock up!

We hope this helps and that you will venture down to our store soon. If you aren’t in the area, shoot us an email or give us a call and we can let you know what sex positive shops may be in your area! Have fun exploring!

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